Plight of Rejected Parents - Welcome Back, Pluto DVD Chapter 6

From Dr. Richard Warshak - author of "Divorce Poison".   You can find out more about this DVD and place an order at:  http://www.warshak.com/alienation/pluto-dvd.html

New Directors

Just wanted to thank everyone who voted for me and Rhonda to become newest Directors of PAAO (the founding organization). It is an excellent organization and I hope we can continue to build a stronger network of concerned parents and extended families within Western Canada.

For more info go to www.PAawareness.org.

Canadian Bar Association opposes Bill C422

The Family Law Section of the Canadian Bar Association has just released their analysis and position on Bill C422. As expected they continue to oppose the suggestion of Equal Parenting. I suppose I should not be surprised that they will continue to line their own pockets, it is just disappointing that they do not the great harm they are promoting.

Here was the press release.

On the first anniversary of C-422 passing First Reading, The Canadian Bar Association( CBA) has made a submission to the Justice and Human Rights Committee(JUST) regarding C-422(Equal Parenting) prepared by the Family Law Section of the Canadian Bar Association (CBA).

The CBA continues in its historical opposition to shared parenting as encapsulated in the following extract:

We oppose passage of Bill C-422. As lawyers with centuries of combined experience in family law and the operation of the Divorce Act, we believe the Bill would be a tremendous step backward in the development of family law. The Bill would represent a disservice both to children and families by:

• taking the focus away from children in favour of parental rights
• detracting from the individual justice required by the Divorce Act and,
  
• promoting further and more fractious litigation.

Here is a link to that document.

Rubin vs Lippe PAS case grabs attention

This case in the US has caught national if not international attention from anyone concerned about PAS. The mother Lauren Lippe is facing losing custody and possible jail-time (although I would consider 6 weeks as nothing more than a slap on the wrist) for her PAS behaviour. There was shocking testimony that convinced the judge - except I find it mind-numbing (not to mention bank-account chilling) that it took 23 days of court appearances.

PA is a VERY controversial topic.

I just read the following post at the Fathers & Families blog (that became associated with Glenn Sacks last year).

Leading Opponent of Recognizing Parental Alienation Apologizes to Fathers & Families for Defamatory Remarks.

May 24th, 2010 by Glenn Sacks, MA, Executive Director

Clinical Psychiatry News board member Dr. Paul J. Fink makes a shockingly irresponsible assertion in his recent column. He writes that family court reform groups seeking to have parental alienation disorder seriously considered for inclusion in the DSM-5 are doing so because they “don’t like to be interfered with when they are sexually abusing their children”…

It is a perfect example of the difficulty facing many people who experience PAS - gender alignment and denial - by both "sides". It doesn't help to be so polarized.

We have strongly advocated for acceptance of PAS/D within the professional Psychiatric Community, and so has Fathers & Families/Glenn Sacks. This is the reason for heavy lobbying for inclusion of PAS/D into the DSM-V with the authorities in the American Psychiatric Association. It does not mean we believe it to ONLY effect Fathers. Clearly, mothers have experienced the pain of being alienated as well. As I am fond of saying "PAS is an equal-opportunity disease!" and it has no real gender preference. In the end "bad parenting behaviour" can occur anywhere.

However, it is another thing completely to "deny" that PAS/D exists - as Fink above seems to.

Here is Monika LOGAN's take on the dangers for women of denying that PAS/D exists.

Another unflattering tactic is to demonize the founder of PAS/D - Dr. Richard Gardner. That he was a prolific contributor to discovering and promoting the condition is not to be questioned, but his enemies have grotesquely distorted and taken out of context his work to imply he was in favour of paedophilia! I have seen the same outrageous slur conducted on men who propose they are subject to PAS. Unfortunately, as Dr. Gardner passed away in 2003 he can not defend himself. In addition, that he took his own life has caused these same opponents to imply he was mentally unstable, further reflecting badly on his work. Unfortunately we can never uncover the real truth of such scurrilous charges. But we can take heart that many others - like Warshuk, Bone and Baker - have continued to expand knowledge of this insidious form of child abuse.

May 25 is National Missing Children's Day in the US

Today is National Missing Children's Day in the US

Today marks the 28th annual National Missing Children's Day. First proclaimed by President Ronald Reagan and observed by each administration since, National Missing Children’s Day serves as a reminder to the nation about the importance of child safety and remembering children who are still missing.

May 25th marks the anniversary of the day when 6-year-old Etan Patz disappeared from a New York street corner on his way to school. Etan's story captivated the nation. His photo, taken by his father, a professional photographer, appeared in media across the nation and around the world. As a result, Etan became the poster-child for a movement and his photo came to symbolize the anguish and trauma of thousands of searching families.

For three decades, the search for Etan has continued. Just as that day when President Reagan proclaimed the first National Missing Children's Day, Etan is still missing. The widespread attention brought to his case and others eventually led to a nationwide commitment to help locate and recover missing children.

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) honors this commitment by reminding parents, guardians, and others to make child safety a national priority and encourages them to participate in the Take 25 campaign.

I, Psychopath

I came across the YouTube Series about Psychopathic personalities and was intrigued because it was broadcast on CBC, but appears to have been an ABC (Australian) production. Of course, the common threads is that many severe PA behaviours are perpetrated by people who appear to exhibit some aspects of Narcissistic Personality or Borderline Personality Disorders (N/BPD). Dr. Amy Baker has made that connection clear.

This video just demonstrates the interactions between a fully aware director and a very high-level functioning psychopath - who ultimately admits he bullies people on a regular basis and has a creepy understanding of how to do so effectively. He also explains that his degree is not as rigorously obtained as many expect - but then you really don't know what to believe from this fellow, which is why he is a diagnosed psychopath.

This led me to a womens blog who claims to have saved her marriage by getting her husband treatment for is NPD. I am wary of such sites, but must admit that only psychopaths seem to never admit they can be wrong. Anyways, there are different ways to skin a cat.

Amy Baker describes the difference between PA and PAS + what TP should do.

Dr. Amy J.L. Baker speaks about PAS from Amy Baker on Vimeo.

Here are some of the points I thought valid:

• PA are the strategies or behaviors that 1 parent uses to try to turn a child against the other parent.
• PAS is the term that describes a child who has succumbed to the pressure, has been manipulated to believe that that other parent is unworthy and should be cut out of his/her life.
  
• Vastly understudied area.
  
• PA targeted parents want to know - will I ever get my child back, they have rejected me, I haven't seen my child, what is this doing to him/her, what can I do to speed up the process to get them back?
• Baker says PA targets need to be proactive to stop PA before it gets bad by studying the 17 strategies she has identified. If they see them occurring they must document the incidents and engage a lawyer who recognizes this condition and understands that it can happen.
• Baker also suggests that parents help protect their children by teaching them critical thinking skills so the kids can't be manipulated.
• Is it as simple as both parents not speaking pejoratively of the other parent?
• Not exactly. Baker says these cases are so hopeless that the AP can't stop doing this. They want SO MUCH to punish the other parent and are so convinced they are right that even telling them this behaviour is abuse with major repercussions to their child - they will not stop.
• So Baker advises teaching the TP how to protect their relationship with their child.
• Baker found the long-term effects on PAS children were the same as people who were in a cult. Thought reform, emotional manipulation, control of the environment - are the same things cult leaders use.
• How do "victim parents" deal with a PA? 1) don't take the bait - be empathic with your child "you think I did that? - that must really hurt" - don't run upstairs and get the bank statements to disprove it. Be empathic, safe, loving and available to them - DO NOT fight with your kid about all those accusations, all the time.
• In a separate interview about the return of Sean Goldman of NJ - an 8yr old boy who was returned to his dad in Dec 2009 after being abducted by his mother to Brazil - Baker also suggests that TP can never "give up" on their children. The damage is that they begin to believe one parent doesn't want them, but even if the say otherwise - they desperately want that parent to fight for the right to be their parent. "Giving up" breaks that faith - and when confronted by the campaign of denigration by the AP, the child can surrender to it.
  

I recommend watching, or go to Amy Bakers website at www.amyjlbaker.com

Excellent Resource

Rhonda and Lou Anne passed on their discussions about this new blog - entitled Parental Alienation Disorder (aka PAD*) by Monica Logan , a social worker in the State of Texas Social Services - and I am very impressed with it!

In particular she provided a very thoughtful letter to the Committee Reviewing DSTM-V about including PAD* in the new diagnostic manual (we have been on this for some time, encouraging everyone to write in to advocate it's inclusion).

http://padsupport.wordpress.com/

* PAD = Parental Alienation "Disorder" is the NEW description that "downsizes" the psychological parameters of Parental Alienation "Syndrome" (PAS) to a lesser pathology consistent with others like Borderline Personality Disorder. PAS has been criticised because it does not manifest itself in specific actions or beliefs, and more accurately it only really describes the agent rather than the effected child or "subject". PAD is broader in referring to a spectrum of behaviours and more inclusive by the co-effects on subjects - children and targeted parents. It also appears this will be the new acronym to replace what we had been referring to as PAS (or PAB "Parental Alienation Behaviour").

Edmonton PAAD also a success!

Saturday April 24th at the Old Strathcona Farmer's Market was another successful event for Parental Alienation Awareness Day. The market was in full swing by 9 am with hundreds of people browsing through the stalls. Our Display table was set up at the back near the concession this year and we had a continuous stream of people stopping to gather information and share their own heartbreaking stories and experiences. We also had an interested psychologist who wanted to receive more information as well as workers from FCSS (Family and Community Social Services) as far away as Mayerthorpe. We handed out many brochures and had on hand lots of reference books and articles for people as well as information sheets to give then for further research.

Many thanks to Chris (Theroux), Jimmy, Renata, Wes, Jerry, Lisa, Johnny and others from ECMAS for their support and help. We could not have done without all of you.

A great and busy day to help raise awareness about PAS. It was very rewarding as many parents and even grandparents were so thankful to have help and direction on what they could do to try counter the problems of being alienated from their children ad grandchildren. Rhonda was also so pleased to have her ex-mother-in-law and two sons stop in to show their support.

See everyone next year at the same place on April 23. If you wish to help or contribute in any way let us know.

Rhonda Pisanello - Alberta PAAO & Panda Abuzz "Spokesperson"

Here are some photo's of the event:

From 2010 Edmonton

From 2010 Edmonton