The Good Karma Divorce

A judge in Chicago IL has written to a "guide" to divorce called "The Good Karma Divorce".  I have not read it but I heard her in an interview with PAAO President Jill Egizii.

Rubin vs Lippe PAS case grabs attention

This case in the US has caught national if not international attention from anyone concerned about PAS. The mother Lauren Lippe is facing losing custody and possible jail-time (although I would consider 6 weeks as nothing more than a slap on the wrist) for her PAS behaviour. There was shocking testimony that convinced the judge - except I find it mind-numbing (not to mention bank-account chilling) that it took 23 days of court appearances.

Amy Baker describes the difference between PA and PAS + what TP should do.

Dr. Amy J.L. Baker speaks about PAS from Amy Baker on Vimeo.

Here are some of the points I thought valid:

• PA are the strategies or behaviors that 1 parent uses to try to turn a child against the other parent.
• PAS is the term that describes a child who has succumbed to the pressure, has been manipulated to believe that that other parent is unworthy and should be cut out of his/her life.
  
• Vastly understudied area.
  
• PA targeted parents want to know - will I ever get my child back, they have rejected me, I haven't seen my child, what is this doing to him/her, what can I do to speed up the process to get them back?
• Baker says PA targets need to be proactive to stop PA before it gets bad by studying the 17 strategies she has identified. If they see them occurring they must document the incidents and engage a lawyer who recognizes this condition and understands that it can happen.
• Baker also suggests that parents help protect their children by teaching them critical thinking skills so the kids can't be manipulated.
• Is it as simple as both parents not speaking pejoratively of the other parent?
• Not exactly. Baker says these cases are so hopeless that the AP can't stop doing this. They want SO MUCH to punish the other parent and are so convinced they are right that even telling them this behaviour is abuse with major repercussions to their child - they will not stop.
• So Baker advises teaching the TP how to protect their relationship with their child.
• Baker found the long-term effects on PAS children were the same as people who were in a cult. Thought reform, emotional manipulation, control of the environment - are the same things cult leaders use.
• How do "victim parents" deal with a PA? 1) don't take the bait - be empathic with your child "you think I did that? - that must really hurt" - don't run upstairs and get the bank statements to disprove it. Be empathic, safe, loving and available to them - DO NOT fight with your kid about all those accusations, all the time.
• In a separate interview about the return of Sean Goldman of NJ - an 8yr old boy who was returned to his dad in Dec 2009 after being abducted by his mother to Brazil - Baker also suggests that TP can never "give up" on their children. The damage is that they begin to believe one parent doesn't want them, but even if the say otherwise - they desperately want that parent to fight for the right to be their parent. "Giving up" breaks that faith - and when confronted by the campaign of denigration by the AP, the child can surrender to it.
  

I recommend watching, or go to Amy Bakers website at www.amyjlbaker.com

Excellent Resource

Rhonda and Lou Anne passed on their discussions about this new blog - entitled Parental Alienation Disorder (aka PAD*) by Monica Logan , a social worker in the State of Texas Social Services - and I am very impressed with it!

In particular she provided a very thoughtful letter to the Committee Reviewing DSTM-V about including PAD* in the new diagnostic manual (we have been on this for some time, encouraging everyone to write in to advocate it's inclusion).

http://padsupport.wordpress.com/

* PAD = Parental Alienation "Disorder" is the NEW description that "downsizes" the psychological parameters of Parental Alienation "Syndrome" (PAS) to a lesser pathology consistent with others like Borderline Personality Disorder. PAS has been criticised because it does not manifest itself in specific actions or beliefs, and more accurately it only really describes the agent rather than the effected child or "subject". PAD is broader in referring to a spectrum of behaviours and more inclusive by the co-effects on subjects - children and targeted parents. It also appears this will be the new acronym to replace what we had been referring to as PAS (or PAB "Parental Alienation Behaviour").

DIVORCE

Tough love from Texas

February 9, 2010Susan Pigg - LIVING REPORTER

When Richard Warshak whisked into Toronto last week from his native Texas, he brought along some tough-love advice for both divorcing parents and family court judges.

"Love your kids more than you hate your ex-spouse," the renowned expert on parental alienation said.

Be firm and fast at pushing toxic custody cases through the clogged courts, he advised judges attending a day-long seminar at the Four Seasons Hotel.

[continuted... ]

• Runs a PAS deprogramming service called "Family Bridges".
• Of the 23 kids he's personally helped reconnect with an alienated parent since 2005, 18 still maintain a relationship with both parents. Eight of those 23 children came from Canada.
• This spring he's coming out with a new, self-help DVD (Welcome Back Pluto, which he hopes to sell on his website www.warshak.com for $19.95 U.S.) for parents struggling to reconnect with kids who've been poisoned against them.
• Warshak has been training two Ontario psychologists to run the program in Canada and says a third is due to join him soon.
• "We find that most children under the age of 8 don't really need this kind of program to make the transition."

BraveHeartWomen.com - Conscious Co-Parenting

Conscious TV - Today's Show Conscious Co-Parenting @ Yahoo! Video

Very positive show from the US with (stunningly beautiful women - only in LA!) Guest Dorcy Russell, the founder of the "Conscious Co-Parenting Institute". I enjoyed it and hope you do too.